so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
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you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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