why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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