I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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