PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize