I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
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