i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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