Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize