just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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