Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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