I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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