I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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