i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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