woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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