This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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