Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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