at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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