I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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