I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
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he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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