Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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