imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
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Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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