my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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