of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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