But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize