can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize