i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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