I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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