I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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