i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize