i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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