I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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