I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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