the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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