Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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