What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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