I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I love you.
Bad choice
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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