some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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