shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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