At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize