She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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