did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize