DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize