What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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