No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think my fart just growled at me.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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