dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize