I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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