This is not my ceiling
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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