She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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