I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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