there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize