East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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